if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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