Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
