Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
