Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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