I met the friendliest cop last night
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
