I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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