I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You left your phone here
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