You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
