so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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