piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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