that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
