Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
