saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
