ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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