idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
