Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
