Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
