The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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