what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
