turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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