We're like a lot better than the average bears
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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