Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
