He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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