dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
