If i come over, it means nothing
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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