I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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