No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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