is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
ttyl tear gas
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Can vaginas get frostbite?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
