I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
