Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
