Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
