good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I am naked and annoyed.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
