I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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