That's when you crack a 10am beer
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
