a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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