I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Boobs speak an international language.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
