i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
