I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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