Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize