dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
