You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
