Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
