what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
