Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
