Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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