I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
