I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
