We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
