Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
