My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
