youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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