i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
